


he wasn't sorry

by allmadeofstardust



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark Character, Grand Relics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmadeofstardust/pseuds/allmadeofstardust
Summary: Taako couldn’t handle the memories.  The bitter sting of regret and anguish.  So he brought her back the only way he could.  He didn’t care about the consequences.Merle saw the whole of creation restart, rejuvenate, only to be swallowed up by darkness, again and again.  He knew the man behind it.  He knew he could make him see reason.Magnus didn’t care anymore.  People had died, were dying, were suffering.  And he didn’t care.  He had everything he wanted and he was gonna make damn sure he kept it safe.Or a fic where the boys give in, and lose everything, to gain everything they ever wanted.





	1. The Philosopher's Stone

**Author's Note:**

> I've been re-listening to Balance for a few weeks now, and this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a bit. What would happen? And, as always, I couldn't quite find my answer so I had to write it myself. Enjoy.

Taako felt the stone without even touching it. He saw it in Maureen’s hands, saw her move to throw it. Without thinking, his mage hand had caught it midair, bringing it back to him. And in the second of time where he heard everyone’s protests, he saw  _ everything _ .

He saw a hundred worlds, a hundred places. He saw red robes billowing, saw a silver ship in the sky. Felt inky blackness stab him clean through. But mostly he saw  _ her _ .

Lup was there, he could  _ remember _ her. He could feel the memories, everything, all at once.

The second second ticked by. Magnus was moving towards him, hand outstretched.

Taako felt grief. Felt anger and frustration and anguish, because she was  _ gone _ ,  _ she was gone _ , he’d never see her again, never bring her back.

The stone felt warm in his hands. He could. He  _ could _ . It would be so easy. The power was right here. At his fingertips.

He looked up at Magnus and Merle, at their protesting faces.

_ Sorry, guys. _ He wasn’t sorry.  _ Cha’boy is sitting this life out. _

His hand closed on the stone, and everything went white.

*****

He woke up in a forest clearing. He felt the stone grasped tightly in his hands as he gazed up at the sky above him. His nose twitched as he smelled something cooking. He slowly sat up and turned to see a fire with a cooking pot above it. There was a caravan parked behind it, with a few other fires nearby, but none of that mattered to Taako, except who was sitting at the fire. She was stirring the pot with a wooden spoon, taking in the aroma, occasionally tasting whatever was in it. It smelled  _ good _ .

Taako hesitated. He knew this scene well, from the dreams, from the nightmares. There had been many a night where he had ran to hug her only to wake up grasping at nothing but pillows and sheets. He didn’t want this to be fake, it  _ couldn’t _ be fake.

“...Lulu?” Taako whispered.

She looked up at him and smiled.

“Hey, Ko! Come and taste this, I want your opinion on it.”

Taako took a step forward.

_ This isn’t real, this isn’t real. _

Lup frowned slightly.

“Hey, you okay?”

Taako was frozen in place. Lup got up from her place at the pot and walked over to him.

“Something scare you?” She reached out and placed a reassuring arm around his shoulder. He could  _ touch _ her.

Instantly, the dam broke, and he was embracing her tightly and warmly, trying to squeeze as much of his relief and love into it as possible.

“H - hey! It’s okay. I’m here.”

Tears were there, he didn’t want them to be. He buried his face into her shoulder, and she laughed nervously before hugging him back, patting his back. He didn’t want to let go.

“Hey, come on, it’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

He took a gasp of air, bit back a sob. God, she was  _ right here _ .

He forced on a passive face, sucked in a breath and pulled back, holding her at arm’s length. She was so concerned, and he didn’t want her to be. Things were okay now. Things were going to be fine.

“Just got spooked by something in the forest, that’s all. Cha’boy isn’t equipped to handle that shit.”

“Mmm-mm,” Lup hummed. She didn’t believe him. She always saw through him, no matter what, but it didn’t matter now. She was  _ here _ .

He followed her over to the pot and took a sip of the stew. His tears dried up and he felt warmth and comfort fill up his stomach.

“Sis, this is honest to god the best thing you’ve ever made.”

She beamed at him, and things were the best they could ever be.

****

It took a few to get Taako oriented.

The stone was tucked safely away, it’s warmth still humming but its force passive, for now. He knew he could use it in the future, but it wasn’t on his mind.

He thought for a few hours of enjoying Lup’s cooking that the stone had brought them back to where they were at the beginning. Just the two of them, alone but together.

But they both looked too old for that. And as Lup and him chatted way into the night (they didn’t need to sleep anyway, and they had a  _ lot _ to talk about), he realized a few things that gave him chills.

One, this was far after their century of travels. Two, Lup remembered everything that had happened, as did Taako, but her memories were fuzzy when it came to that day in the lab. The day he took the stone. And he surmised after just a few minutes talking with her that she didn’t know what he had done, just that she had woken up here and celebrated the fact of being free again. It meant she didn’t know he still had it. That he was keeping it for himself.

Worst of all, it meant that she remembered Barry.

This fact wrecked him, because suddenly it wasn’t all about ya boy Taako. His sister had someone she wanted to be with too, and she didn’t know where they could find him.

“I just miss him, is all,” she conceded, after filling Taako in on where she’d been (the umbrella, why the  _ fuck _ did he not think about the umbrella?). “I know he can take care of himself, but it’d be nice to have him back. Where are Magnus and Merle? You were with them, but I don’t know what happened to them.”

Taako put on his bravest smile.

“I don’t know either,” he said, and it wasn’t exactly a lie. Who knew where they really were? “We got separated.”

“Well, maybe we can work to find everyone again. I’d give anything to have the fam back, safe and sound.”

Taako felt something deep in his gut, something new and venomous that bit at his insides but somehow still felt so good.

“Well,  _ we’re _ together.” He said it with finality. Lup glanced over to him. “We don’t - we know they’re safe. Why not just let them come to us? I can start up the show again. They’re bound to come running.”

Lup believed him. He  _ wasn’t lying _ . He would never lie to his sister. But the bitter voice inside him hissed  _ Who cares about them? We’re together. We don’t need them. _

He believed it too.

****

True to his word, he started the show up again.

The days leading up to its debut, Taako didn’t want to let go of Lup’s hand. Everytime she disappeared from his sight, even for a second, he’d panic. Then she would remerge, and rub his hand and reassure him, and this cycle happened too often for him to count, but she was always there. She understood him.

_ That’s how it should be. Just us. _

He got the show up and running, and gave Lup the honor of cooking the first meal. Everything was happy, everything was going great.

Then Lup moved to take her first bite, and the stone  _ burned _ like a hot iron in Taako’s pocket. Time froze, and for a moment Lup was in Glamour Springs, amidst all those people. Forty people, forty lives, and she was one of them.

The stone burned and burned and Taako grabbed it and held it out and it  _ screamed _ at him  _ She’s going to die, they’re all going to die, use me to save her, Taako, you have to save her! _

Without thinking, without really knowing that he did it, Lup’s chicken paccata transformed into garlic bread.  _ Safe _ bread. Bread he  _ knew _ was okay.

She bit down hard on it and bristled at the unexpected taste, but the crowd seemed to love it. Lup cast a sideways glance at Taako and he shrugged, before slipping the stone back into his pocket.

****

The show was good because the stone made it good. Somewhere far away, the wanted ads had transmuted themselves into ads for Sazed. The stone could do it, because Taako had made it, and Taako could do anything.

The shows went over well. Everyone loved them. But Taako was terrified. He couldn’t help but see poison in every ingredient he added, see Lup dying in his arms at every drink he served. He let Lup do most of the cooking, but eventually he wanted to try it for himself.

The next show was near Neverwinter, and it had an even bigger crowd. Lup helped out from the back, but this time it was Taako’s turn to shine.

It was the berries. They were raspberries, they weren’t even dark, but for a split second they looked like nightshade, they  _ were _ nightshade, and now he was feeding these people their deaths, and there were more than forty, too many to count, everyone was going to  _ die _ and it was  _ his fault. _

The stone burned again, and Taako took it out and wildly flung it out, and the berries turned into pebbles, that no one could eat, and as the crowd protested he ran away, Lup calling after him.

She found him curled up in the corner of the caravan, his hands shaking. The stone was safe, Lup was safe, that was what mattered, that was  _ everything _ that mattered.

“Ko, you can’t do this to yourself. Glamour Springs wasn’t - ”

“I know _ , _ ” he said forcefully, and Lup settled beside him and massaged his shoulder the way that calmed him, the way she  _ knew _ .

_ We don’t have to do this, _ he thought.  _ We could just be together, we don’t have to find them, why should we find them, we’re much better off on our own. _

_ ***** _

He retreated to the back of the show, back to measuring spices and washing dishes, letting Lup be the one who actually cooked. And for a short blessed while, it worked. They were a team, they were a  _ family. _ Who needed anyone else? They had each other.  _ We don’t need them. _

A few weeks in, and Taako could tell Lup was sad. She didn’t cook with as much flair anymore, kept to herself in her own little corner. Taako knew something was wrong.

Taako found her at the end of a show, sitting nearby the caravan, gazing off into the horizon. She sensed him approach, let him sit next to her.

“Taako, they’re not coming. What if they’re just gone?”

He grew rigid at her words, remembered forgetting, remembered terror and helplessness.

“Hey, they’ll come eventually,” he said out loud, but he knew what he was really thinking.  _ Who needs them? We’re better off alone. Alone and together, just us, who cares? _

Lup sighed.

“God, Taako, I miss him so much.” She buried her face in her hands.

Taako envisioned Barry in his head. All nerdy glasses and pudgy body and smiling kind face. Just as quickly it’s replaced with jealousy, envy, rage that Lup was thinking of someone else.

“We don’t need him.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, betraying his thoughts, and Lup turned sharply, staring at him.

“I - I mean - ” He tried to salvage it, but it’s what he meant, what he really wanted.

“We need to find them,” Lup demanded. “They’ll help you. Barry can deal with the nightmares - ”

“I don’t have nightmares,” he spat, but Lup continued like she hadn’t heard him.

“Magnus can give you hugs, and Lucretia can - ”

At that he stood up, so jarringly that he smacked his arm against Lup’s in a lurch.

“ _ Lucretia? _ !” he hissed. The darkness in his gut was boiling with rage, and he relished it, it was good, it kept him  _ sane _ . “We don’t need her, of all people! She can go fuck off somewhere, because we’re together in this, Lup! Just like we’ve always been, and  _ she _ was the one who took that away!”

It took a few seconds for him to recognize the look on Lup’s face, but he could still see it - hurt, fear, and a tinge of disappointment.

He crumpled, and fell to his knees, and Lup was already over him, brushing the hair away from his face while he wept.

“ _ We don’t need them!” _ he cried.  _ “ _ We’re  _ fine _ on our own, we never needed anyone else, because we had  _ each other _ . I can’t lose you, Lup, I can’t go back, I can’t face Lucretia or anyone knowing that I failed, knowing that I’ve hurt people. I can’t forget. I can’t, I can’t - ”

While he was sitting there, being pathetic, she found the stone. In hindsight, he should have hidden it somewhere more secure, but he figured it was only natural that she be the one to find it.

“Is this it?” she asked calmly.

The stone glowed brightly, and she dropped it from the heat. Taako grabbed it quickly, held it close. It was all he had. It brought her back. He would never give that up, never - 

“Oh, Taako.” She pulled him into her lap, ran her fingers through his hair. “I can’t stand seeing you like this. I can’t bear it.”

Taako bent his head. He was hurting her.

There was a darker presence stirring inside him that told him that wasn’t true.  _ Everything I’m doing is for you. I didn’t do any of this for them. For you, for you, for you. _

“Taako, you know you’re the best damn transmutation wizard out there, right?

Taako nodded slowly.

“Then why the hell do you need that old thing?”

Despite himself, Taako laughed.

“Cuz I can’t bring you back by myself, dingus,” he whispered.

Lup sighed.

“I’ll be by your side throughout all of it, okay Taako?”

“I won’t - ” His voice cracked. “I won’t remember you.”

“You’ll remember.” Her voice was soft, her hands still running through his hair. “In your own way.”

“I can’t be alone again.”

“Taako,” she said, and took the stone gingerly out of his hands.

He let her.

“You were never,  _ never _ alone.”

Everything seemed to be fading. He clutched her hand, and she smiled at him.

Everything went white.

*****

He was back in the lab. His memory was fuzzy. There was something...someone he needed to save.

“Taako.”

He looked up. Magnus was holding out his hand cautiously.

“Give me the stone,” Magnus ordered.

Taako rubbed his thumb over it. It was cold in his hands.

“Yeah,” he said dully. “Catch.”


	2. The Gaia Sash

Merle was a simple dwarf, but when he saw what the sash could do, he had to admit he was blown away. The tree was spectacular, sure, but there was something else. Something about the sheer  _ power _ of it. The aura of magic that rivaled Pan’s presence.

He took the sash gently from Magnus’ hands, intending to store it safely in his bag, but the thing pulsed with energy once, strong and true, and Merle  _ remembered _ .

He remembered years and years of running, of dying. Of that damn darkness, the Hunger, feasting and swallowing up whole planes, whole universes. Ending lives, one after the other, leaving  _ nothing _ . He knew the face of such atrocities. Remembered fond thoughts of chess and a smiling face. Felt a pang of longing. There was so much dark, in a world meant to be shining with light.

He could fix that. He couldn’t do it then, not the way he was. Not by himself, with nothing but the meager power of one god’s partial attention. No, this time he’d have power, power derived from creation itself, from everything and everyone in the whole of existence. He could find him. He could fight everything horrible, find him, and set things right again.

He glanced up at Magnus, who was looking at him expectantly. Taako hovered close behind.

“Sorry, gang.” He wasn’t sorry. “A dwarf’s gotta do what a dwarf’s gotta do.”

He clutched the sash tightly between his fingers. And everything went white.

*****

When he woke up, he felt like he was floating. He felt the sash in his fingers and threaded it around his neck, pulling it into a tight scarf, and looked around.

There was white, but it was slowly fading into a brilliant shade of green. He realized he was encased in a room woven of branches and leaves. He felt at peace, felt at home. There was a skylight of sorts above, and he could see the edges of the planes, like he had when he was on the Starblaster’s deck. They were moving quickly, almost in a timelapse, and he saw, one by one, as each plane was swallowed whole by the Hunger. It feasted, then moved quickly onto the next plane, in a cycle Merle had seen hundreds of times.

The room around him seemed to quiver in anticipation. The sash around his neck hummed and grew warm. He focused on the scene above him, willed it to slow down. He saw the Hunger descend, and this time he felt it shudder the world outside his little room. The branches creaked and snapped, and suddenly the Hunger was here, it was destroying everything, and Merle was - 

No. Merle was powerful now. He didn’t have to sit by, helpless. He wasn’t about to feel useless again. So he clutched the sash tightly in his hand and  _ leaped _ .

*****

He landed gracefully on the beach, naturally.  _ His _ beach. The Hunger’s strands were getting closer, and rage, rage he’d never really felt before, coursed through him at the sight.

Part of him wanted to go to his family, reassure them that everything would be alright.

_ They don’t want to see you now. You’re a deadbeat, washed up. Defeat the Hunger. Then they’ll see you as a hero. _

He felt the thoughts strongly. Felt the regret he faced every time he thought of them. He felt embarrassment, then a surge of power. The sash was right. They didn’t need to see him normal again. They hated that version of him. But now, all powerful, he could make himself better.

He focused on the water, focused on summoning a wave. He could do it. He felt the sash grow hot, felt power surge through him, and the water rose to meet the Hunger, fighting it back. It retreated as the wave crashed onto the beach.

_ You could be so much more. A simple little wave doesn’t mean anything _ .

Merle glanced over at his house. His  _ kids _ . The sash was right. This wasn’t the extent of his new power. So he moved forward.

The Hunger had slowed, holding off its attacks (in anticipation? In fear?) and he laughed in its face. He wasn’t about to accept it being a coward. He had been a coward himself for too long. If he was gonna rise up it was only fair that his enemy face him too.

*****

He worked tirelessly, him against his foe. He thought it odd to be alone, to be the sole ruler of judgement.

_ Everyone else thinks you’re incompetent. Weak. Why bother with them? _

He shook off the hesitation. He knew the sash was being truthful, knew that it could feel his thoughts, read them, listen to them. He  _ had _ created it, after all.

So he stayed isolated, until he could reach that point where everyone would cherish him as a hero.

As he wielded his power, he reveled in the change. The difference it made, having something to help him be strong. It had always been his weak point. His uselessness. Everyone made fun of him for it, and for a while he had laughed it off. Thought himself a foolish dwarf with no skill.

But then, there were shining moments where he would cast the right spell at the right time. Healing someone on the brink of death. Saving someone’s life through his communal with plants. And he started realizing that, hey, maybe he actually  _ could _ be useful,  _ could _ heal,  _ could _ fight.

But in between those moments, everyone still made him feel like shit.

_ They thought you were useless. Thought you were weak. You’ll show them, you’ll prove to them you can do something wonderful. _

So he continued fighting the Hunger, taking it down, terrorizing it with destruction on a global scale, because he  _ could _ now. He had the power. He wasn’t about to let it go to waste.

******

Eventually, he felt himself drive it back, getting close enough to the Hunger that he could almost taste the room, the sun, John’s face.

He had done it, singlehandedly, and that deep part of him was pleased.

_ They’ll love you forever. You won’t be useless anymore. _

He focused and moved, and he didn’t really know how he got there, but he was finally in the room again. The sun outside the window was  _ boiling _ , the blackness threatening to swallow it whole.

The Hunger was here, the white eyes blinking at him. They narrowed and black fire came sailing towards Merle, but this time he was prepared, this time he wouldn’t give in and die. The sash hummed brightly, and a wall of branches took the fire in stride, breaking apart on impact but keeping Merle standing. The Hunger hesitated, and if it had a head it would be cocked to the side curiously.

“That’s right, you bastard.” Merle chuckled. “I’m back and I’m armed. Now let me talk to John and I won’t blast your whole being into oblivion.”

He felt it growl, and he brandished the sash, took a step towards the darkness. And it receded.  _ The Hunger _ was scared of  _ Merle _ .

He smirked.

_ You’ll be so loved. They won’t ever doubt you again. _

He blinked, just for a second, and when he opened his eyes John was there. He looked like he did when Merle first met him, and Merle felt a surge of pride that he had weakened the Hunger so much that it had let go of John, even for a little bit.

“Merle,” he said, and his voice sounded pained. Merle approached him, the sash a gentle source of warmth around his neck, and he took a seat across the table. He was still smirking.

“How did your Hunger feel about that, huh, John?”

John winced.

“Merle, I’m going to ignore  _ how _ you got here and instead focus on exactly  _ why _ you are here.”

Merle paused. Now that he was here, had everything positioned the way he wanted, he struggled to formulate what he wanted to say.

_ Tell him you’re going to eradicate it, tell him how much you’ve accomplished. _

Merle opened his mouth to speak, to wax poetically about his heroic feats, but stopped as he took in John’s face. It was hesitant, and concerned, but underneath it all he was almost fearful. Merle had never seen him look like this. He didn’t  _ want _ him to look like this.

“Well John, buddy, I’m, uh - ” Merle offered a smile. “I’m here to save ya!”

There was a hint of surprise in John’s features, quickly replaced with sadness.

“Merle, I’m not sure if you quite understand the  _ circumstances _ we are under, I - ”

“Screw circumstances!” Merle cried. “John, I’m more powerful than your damn Hunger buddies. I think I can kick their asses enough to make them let you go.”

He held out his hand across the table.

“Come with me, bud! It’ll be you and me. I can show you everything you’ve been missing out on.”

_ You can show him all your power. You can use it to save him, use it to kill whatever holds him back. _

John stretched out his own hand, barely brushed his palm with Merle’s. His hands were cold.

_ You’ll make him warm again. You can help him, you can save him. _

“Merle, I - ”

He began to retract his hand, but Merle grasped it, pulling him closer.

“John, listen.”

He cast a sideways glance over John’s shoulder. The two of them were alone, no darkness in sight.

“I’m not just saving you to prove a point, y’know. I’m here because...well cuz I care about you! You’re my friend, you’re my - ”

He dropped his sentence, but there was a small smile on John’s face that made Merle’s heart swell.

“Merle, you - that means worlds to me, Merle.”

Merle beamed. John glanced out of the window, and the smile fell.

“Merle, you’ve been fighting us - well,  _ it _ \- for a long time now. But this item, this  _ relic _ that you’ve acquired. It’s...powerful.”

“Well yeah, no shit! I’ve been using it to beat your buddies back into the hole they came from, and it’s  _ working _ .”

Merle let out a little laugh on the word.

_ He’ll respect you, they all will. _

“I’ve noticed your aptitude with it.” John sucked in a breath. “Merle, are you aware of the scale of destruction that particular item can do?”

Merle smiled.

“Oh hell yes I am. It’s what got me  _ here _ .”

Somehow, Merle could tell that that wasn’t the answer John had been looking for. John pushed his chair back and got to his feet. He walked over to the window, the sun burning in the sky.

“I - I want you to know that I...I care about you too, Merle.”

John’s voice was quiet and monotone, but the words struck Merle. It was the first time he had heard them.

“I care about you more than I properly should, and that’s why I’m showing you this.”

He didn’t move, but the view out of the window changed. Merle walked over to it, and suddenly, he was looking at the world, the world he’d settled down on, the world where his kids lived, where his friends lived. John gestured for him to look down.

They were extremely high up, so much so he could see the curvature of the planet. On its surface, he could see destruction. Hurricanes the size of countries spun by at high speeds. Water flooded entire valleys. Mountains burned, forests were mangled and torn. He could see small lights, tiny hints of civilization, winking out one by one as the forces of nature struck them.

“You once called me a sanctimonious bastard,” John said softly. “Who’s sanctimonious now?”

_ It doesn’t matter _ . Merle thought, even as horror began to take hold.  _ Everything you did, you did it to fight it, to prove yourself, to save him. _

He whirled on John, grabbed his hand. He didn’t care about the cold, the dark, the destruction.

“John, buddy, I did this for  _ you.  _ I’m here to save you from all this, I’m here to take you home and show my kids that I - ”

John’s face was torn between emotions, emotions that Merle couldn’t recognize, but at Merle’s words he narrowed his eyes and looked at Merle with a distinct feeling of  _ pity _ .

“Merle, those kids? Your friends? You - you destroyed them, Merle.”

He didn’t speak the words with any malice, or smugness. Just genuine sadness.

_ He’s lying. You can reverse it, you have the power. Just get him, save him. Everything will be okay, you’ll be loved, you won’t be a disappointment, you will -  _

“Merle, you need to take that sash off.”

_ No! _

He didn’t realize he’d hissed the word until John stepped back. There was fear in his eyes.

“I’m here for  _ you _ ,” Merle growled.  _ Save him, prove yourself, everyone will love you. _

John shook his head.

“Look at yourself, Merle. You’ve thrown away everything you loved just for the chance to prove yourself to the world that Merle Highchurch is unstoppable.”

Merle shook his head.

_ Don’t listen to him! _

“Merle, please.” John dropped to one knee, making himself level with Merle’s eyes. “I can’t...I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

The sash continued its tirade, but for a few brief seconds Merle ignored it, shocked by the way John was talking, the way he looked and moved. He was holding his hand, he was on one knee, and once again, a terrible situation had resulted in a moment of intimacy, a moment where for one blissful second everything could be okay.

He felt John run his fingers underneath the sash, and Merle’s first instinct was to jerk backwards,  _ how dare he take it, you’re doing this for him, you’re -  _

But John’s eyes were swimming, and for the first time since Merle had met him, he looked  _ human _ .

He let him take the sash.

“I won’t...I’ll be a joke again.”

John shook his head.

“You were never a joke, Merle. You were always loved. Even by me.”

The world was fading. Merle placed one hand on John’s cheek, tried to come up with words to say. John smiled.

Everything went white.

*****

The air smelled of cherry blossoms. He had always loved that smell.

“Merle?” Magnus asked. His voice seemed far away, and Merle blinked several times to readjust to it. “You okay, buddy?”

Merle felt the sash between his fingers. It was cold.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, stuffing the thing into his bag. “I’m gonna get dirt all over my bag.”

Magnus laughed at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled writing this one, cuz Merle honestly never gets enough love. I hope I did him justice.


	3. The Temporal Chalice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've taken some small liberties with the timeline of events, here. just assume that the chalice is messing around with how soon/late certain events happen.

Magnus barely had time to suck a breath in, try to push his tears away, because he was  _ better _ than this, Julia wouldn’t want to see him like this, before he was seated at a table, Taako and Merle sitting beside him. If they noticed the tears, how broken he was, they didn’t say anything.

June presented the cup, and Magnus kept his eyes on it, like it was going to disappear.

June presented her terms. And then she clarified the rules:

“Only  _ one _ of you can take the chalice.”

Without even registering he was doing it, he had placed his hand on Railsplitter. He turned, preparing for a fight.

Merle shrugged the thing off, but Taako was hesitant, his words rambling, and Magnus tensed. He didn’t want to fight Taako. He wasn’t sure if he’d win.

Then Taako passed as well, and June turned to him.

He looked at the two of them. His friends. At least they used to be. He wasn’t sure what they would be once he placed his hands on that cup.

He didn’t care.

“Sorry fellas,” he announced. He wasn’t sorry, not in any way, shape, or form. He knew what he wanted. He knew it with everything in his soul.

He grasped the cup with both hands, felt its power flow into his veins like water, and everything went white.

*****

He woke to the smell of lavender, floating in on a soft breeze. The smell brought tears to his eyes. The chalice lay in his hands, and he squeezed it as he sat up, looking around. He was on the edges of Raven’s Roost, and it was  _ whole _ again. It was standing on its rocks, untouched. Next to him, still wrapped in soft canvas, was a wooden rocking chair.

_ He hadn’t left yet. _ _ There was still time to change things _ .

He shoved the chalice into his bag, left the rocking chair in the dust as he scrambled to his feet and  _ rushed in _ to the town.

He ran past familiar roads and buildings, places he never dreamed of seeing again, but he didn’t care, they didn’t matter, his place mattered, the Hammer and Tongs,  _ her. _

He skidded to a halt in front of the shop, the smell of sawdust emanating from within, and all of a sudden he was frozen in place. His breath lodged in his throat. He didn’t want to open the door.

Many a time, when the two of them were together, Magnus had heard Taako struggling in his sleep, wincing and calling out indiscernible words. Magnus recognized a nightmare when he saw one, and had left him alone, favoring a strong hand on Taako’s shoulder to calm him down. Nobody had ever noticed when Magnus’ dreams turned into horror. When all he could see were visions of ash and smoke and the smell of burning wood and the acrid taste of charcoal in his mouth. Where he had found her body, broken, misshapen. She was never supposed to look like that. When he had wept as if there was nothing else he could do with his existence.

He would wake up, panting hard, and immediately cover his mouth, calm his heart rate, so as to not wake his friends, so as not to make them concerned. He was better now. They didn’t need to know his tragedy.

Now, he stood, unmoving, in front of the door to the Hammer & Tongs, because this couldn’t be real. It was going to fall, and crack on the ground, be covered in rubble, like it did in every dream he had. He couldn’t bear to risk the notion that she was somehow in there, because every time he had tried to reach out to her, tried to save her, she would fall, she would crumple, she would be  _ gone. _

He almost turned around, almost left. He  _ would _ have, if it wasn’t for the door swinging open on its own accord, and - 

His breath left him. He couldn’t feel his own heart beat. She turned, eyes wide.

“You dummy, you forgot something didn’t you?” said Julia. “I told Dad something would come up, I knew it, but I didn’t think - ”

He’s touching her, he’s  _ holding _ her because  _ gods _ this can’t be real, this was still a dream. But if it was a dream, so be it - he wanted to smell her hair and hold her hands and just - 

“H - hey!” Julia yelped. “Magnus, I’m holding  _ glue _ in my hands, you can’t just - ”

He pulled away slowly and it hurt him, to have her more than a few inches away. He stared at her because he couldn’t  _ stop _ looking at her, he had never realized how  _ beautiful _ she was. He had known it, before, but  _ now _ it was truer than all the truths in the world.

She was, in fact, holding a bucket of glue, probably meant for the fence out back (stupid, she could have just asked him to fix it, but he had been gone and he wasn’t  _ ever _ going to leave again) and she smiled at him.

“Wait, where did the chair go?”

Magnus struggled to find his voice. It was stuck high in his throat, and he had to say the words several times before even passably making the sentence work.

“I, uh...I left it.”  _ Gods _ she was radiant.

Julia’s eyes widened.

“You  _ left _ it? Just in the middle of a field? Magnus, that was your pride and joy, that was - h-hey...what’s wrong, are you okay, did something happen?”

Because he was crying. Not the distraught open sobs after he found her body, but happy, laughing tears, tears of joy that he never thought he would ever shed again.

She was worried about him, now, and that wasn’t fair, she didn’t deserve confusion and fear.

“I’m fine, really, I am...so, incredibly okay.” He laughed. “It  _ was _ my pride and joy. Until I thought about  _ you _ again, and I - “

“Magnus, I really appreciate that you love me so much, but you really should go grab that chair.”

Her tone was stern, but playful. He smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

He was still holding her arms, touching her skin. He didn’t want to leave.

“Um...come with me?”

The request sounded childish, and Julia rolled her eyes, but she put down the glue, took his hand, and walked down the road with him.

*****

He hadn’t forgotten about Kalen. He was coming in three days. Magnus had memorized the date, the exact time, because that was when he was  _ supposed _ to be there, that was when he had failed her, failed everyone.

But now, he could save everything.

Julia didn’t question how he knew what he knew. Neither did their old rebellion buddies, the ones who had settled into their lives, sure, but were more than happy to take up arms if it meant protecting their town, once again.

It was over and done with quicker than Magnus anticipated. The coward didn’t put up much of a fight. Magnus doubted he had ever actually gotten any training. He had just slipped into the night and done his deeds behind everyone’s backs, when no one was watching. Magnus knew the rules of fighting. Knew that it was lowly scum like Kalen who would kill someone when their back was turned.

They locked him up in the cellar of the town’s main tavern. Had celebratory drinks up above, toasting the good health of everyone in Raven’s Roost. Magnus and Julia made a promise over drinks that neither of them would leave the other alone for a while. Julia didn’t say much about it, but Magnus could tell she had realized how close she had come to her demise, and Magnus wanted to make sure she was never scared again.

Which is why, while Julia and their compatriots cheered above, Magnus went below.

_ You came back for a reason. _ He almost didn’t recognize the chalice’s voice. It was the small high pitch of a little girl. Almost like June, but not.  _ You spared him, once, and you know what happened. _

He knew. He was glad, tonight, that Carey had taught him well. No one heard him go into the cellar. No one noticed him pick the lock.

Kalen was curled up in the corner, looking pathetic. It just made Magnus hate him more. His head rose at Magnus’ movements and he sneered.

“Come to gloat?” he asked, the words almost a challenge.

“No.”

Magnus drew a knife.

*****

When they found Kalen dead in his cell the next morning, Julia had her suspicions. Magnus didn’t want to lie to her. So he told the truth.

“Magnus…” Julia whispered. “I...know how you feel about him. But you can’t…”

He was torn. He was so satisfied, so settled with his vengeance. But he didn’t want to see her upset.

“Jules, listen.” He took her hands. “I’m  _ sorry _ if I hurt you. I don’t  _ ever _ want to hurt you. But that - that’s why I had to hurt  _ him _ . He would have - you  _ know _ what he would have done.”

Julia gave a small nod. She was staring at his fingers.

“I know. I just…”

She stroked his cheek, and he pushed into it, closing his eyes. He savored every inch of her touch.

“I want you to stay true to  _ you _ , Magnus.”

_ You are. _ the chalice echoed, and Magnus didn’t flinch.  _ Everything you’ve done has been to make your life wonderful. To save her. You’ll never be alone again. _

Magnus nodded, fueled with new vigor.

“I’m sorry, Jules.” He meant every word. “From now on, I’ll be there for you. Throughout everything.”

Julia seemed brightened at that, and she smiled at him.

A thought occurred to him, in a flash.

“Jules?”

“Hmm?”

“Did we ever go on a honeymoon?”

*****

The two of them planned like the newlyweds they were, and Magnus blissfully forgot the years of loneliness, of solitude, of grief, because he was  _ here _ now, and he could plan a future together with her, with his  _ wife _ , with  _ Julia. _

They debated locations for a while, before settling on a long and winding trip down the Sword Coast. Why not? It incorporated many places they wanted to see, and they had all the time in the world. Magnus had made sure of that.

They departed Raven’s Roost together this time, Steven waving them off. Kalen was gone. The town was safe, and Magnus was happier than he’d ever felt.

They started in the north, because it was almost winter, and they wanted to see the mountain views with the snow. It was picturesque. They spent their days wandering trails, trying and failing at fantasy skiing, enjoying nature. And when the sun went down they found themselves curled together by a warm fire, drinking hot cocoa. Magnus held onto Julia tightly in these moments, as if she would disappear, but he knew she wouldn’t, because he had made things better.

Then Julia decided she wanted to take a train to Neverwinter, to take in the scenery and to give them both some luxury respite. Magnus agreed. So they approached the station, bags in hand, and requested two tickets on the Rockport Limited.

“I do deeply apologize,” said the stewardess. “But that particular rail line is currently out of commission.”

Julia frowned and looked to Magnus. Something in the back of his mind tickled, and deep within his bag he felt the chalice burn hot and red.

“Why not? Can’t they just reroute the trains?”

The stewardess looked surprised.

“Oh, did you not hear the news?”

Julia put on her best smile, but Magnus knew when she was worried.

“We’ve been sort of isolated in the mountains.”

The stewardess’ face dipped into one of pity and severity.

“There was an accident in Neverwinter. Terrible thing. One of our trains, well...it was going too fast. Didn’t engage its safety brake at all. It...well, it crashed into Neverwinter station, went straight through, into the city proper. Over three hundred dead, they’ve reported. And the injuries are beyond counting at this rate. So unfortunately we - ”

_ Seventy-six.  _ The chalice’s voice rang clear, overriding the stewardess.  _ These people were unknown to you. A tragedy, but a foreign one. You saved seventy-six of your kin, seventy-six people whose faces you knew. This is nothing. _

The feeling in his head stopped. Magnus straightened up.

“Come on, Jules.” He offered her a hand. “We can take the long way around.”

*****

Neverwinter was a beautiful city, and though part of it was still in mourning, the city itself kept going, through perseverance or through spite, Magnus couldn’t tell. It felt like Raven’s Roost, a few days after Kalen’s dogs had bullied their way into ravaging a few homes. They were shaken, yes, but they would rebuild.

_ And now it’s survived, and those dogs are gone _ .  _ You’ve made it a home again. _

Magnus smiled, and they enjoyed their time together.

Julia grew hesitant around the third day. Magnus knew - it was the atmosphere, the sense that something horrible had happened, even if people were trying to cover it up.

“Jules? You know we don’t have to stay here, right?”

Julia nodded, and they left within the hour.

They traveled slowly, on foot, and made camp along the roads. It felt like an adventure, felt like he was back alongside his friends, but this time he was with the person he loved more than anything.

He didn’t really notice what the next stop was until they emerged from the trees and stopped still.

A large, horrifically empty plane of black glass spread across the clearing in front of them. The size of a village. The size of Phandalin.

He felt the chalice grow hot again as Julia took a step forward.

“What...what happened here?” she asked, her voice shaky.

She went to move again and Magnus grabbed her hand and held onto it tightly.

_ They were nobody. Nobody you knew. Everybody you know is safe. Everything you care about is here, alive and well. _

“I...I don’t know.” Truthfully, he didn’t. He may have known what caused this, but he had no idea when, or where the relic had gone. Because it wasn’t here. All that was here was a crumbling statue in the middle of the glass, arm raised in one last attempt at glory. He knew that feeling, knew that lack of fear when facing death.

_ Not anymore. You have someone to fight for, now. To live for. _

Julia was still staring at the scene. There was ash floating freely with the breeze. A few small flakes settled in Julia’s hair, and it was too much, he had  _ seen _ that, when she was lying at his feet, broken.

“Julia, please,” he whispered hoarsely. She looked over to him, saw whatever emotions he had on his face (at the moment, he wasn’t sure). She nodded slowly.

They gave the glass a wide berth. They continued going.

*****

They were reaching the last legs of their trip. It had been a good week or so since Phandalin, since the glass, and Magnus had all but put it out of his mind. The time he had spent with Julia on this trip was the most precious time he had ever experienced.

_ Don’t forget.  _ The chalice reminded him. _ You have all the time in the world. _

He smiled at that, smiled as Julia took a moment to smell a rose bush in the garden they were walking through. Smiled as she looked back at him with another beautiful expression. Sometimes he wanted to sketch her faces, each one more pretty than the next, all filled with  _ her _ .

They took the last trip in a caravan, the drivers swayed by Magnus’ hospitality and Julia’s charm. They drove and sang songs and camped and cooked and sang more songs. It was  _ nice _ .

Then they reached an odd fork in the road. The main road continued straight, but to the right of it, a new road had been forged. Simply a dirt path, etched into the ground, it looked like it had been made in a hurry.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked.

The driver shrugged.

“It looks like someone was avoiding something. Might as well find out what it was. I follow this path every time I come down here.”

“Where does it lead?”

“Goldcliff.”

The cup was hot, but Magnus ignored it.

“Keep going. I’ll keep a lookout.”

They moved forward, and nothing seemed especially foreboding. Then they found the first body.

It was lying on the side of the path, having seemingly collapsed after running - from what, Magnus wasn’t sure. It was an elven man, of no notable appearance, but the veins in his neck were tinged a sickly shade of black.

_ He was nobody. _

“We should keep going,” the driver said, though his voice was wavering. “Maybe people need help.”

“Yeah. We should help them,” Magnus echoed the words, but a deeper part of him thought of Julia. Of what running into danger head on would mean for her.

They kept driving. The horses were getting skittish. Brambles were growing in harsh clumps on the sides of the path, before eventually they overwhelmed the road altogether, and the driver had to stop the caravan.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, and pointed ahead.

The sky had been getting darker for a while, and Magnus had figured it was due to the sun naturally setting. But now he understood why, as he gazed up at the towers upon towers of thick vines and brambles that had overwhelmed the city of Goldcliff, to the point where nothing was recognizable now. Everything was covered in dark green.

Magnus took a step forward, but the driver held him back.

“Watch yourself, son. Those are silverpoint brambles.”

In another life, Magnus would have laughed the near miss off. Instead, his breath quickened, and he turned towards Julia, who was moving to get out of the back of the caravan.

“What’s going - ” she started, before he ran over to her and embraced her tightly, pulling her back into the vehicle.

“‘S not safe,” he mumbled into her hair as he gripped her tightly, trying to even his breathing, trying not to think of how he almost recklessly stepped into poison, how he almost left her,  _ again. _

The driver climbed back into his seat and carefully reversed the caravan.

“Those poor souls,” he said, shaking his head at the ruined city.

Magnus tried to feel sympathy, to feel like he could’ve done something to stop it. But instead he clung to Julia, wove his fingers through her hair, and realized he didn’t care.

_ They were nobody. _

*****

Magnus didn't want their honeymoon to end on a somber note, but Julia was quieter than normal as they traveled back to Raven's Roost. Magnus held her hand and braided her hair and told her stories, but she was still distant.

"Do you ever think about all those people?" she asked one night as they were camping. "The lives they were living, before…"

Magnus had thought about it - he had thought about each of the seventy six lives he'd failed to save. He had known them, recognized them. Now he knew they were safe.

_ The others don't matter. They were nobody. She is someone. Raven's Roost is somewhere you care about. It's safe. _

He pulled Julia closer, let the warmth from the fire wash over them.

"At least we're still standing." He meant it as a reassurance. Instead, Julia tensed below him.

"Yeah," she said, her voice terse. "Yeah, we are."

They arrived back home soon after. A part of Magnus, a small part of him that he had tucked away, grew fearful as they crested the hill, terrified of the rubble and the smoke and the fire.

But the town was safe and sound, small and pretty and perched on its columns like always. Julia beamed down at it, and grabbed his hand.

"I can't  _ wait _ to tell Dad everything we did."

*****

Raven's Roost was fairly isolated, which is why the news of the thing came so late. Far away, a sea had been overtaken by pink tourmaline. It had threatened to keep spreading, beyond the waters, enveloping the world, but someone had stopped it. A powerful transmutation wizard that people had seen on TV.

The process had killed him. He was being lauded as a hero.

Sorrow panged in the back of Magnus’ mind. Grief and terror and regret. The chalice was hot, hotter than it had ever been, and Magnus wanted to be rid of it, to throw it over the edge of town. But he knew what that meant, and he gripped it tighter.

Julia found him, sitting alone, knees tightly pressed to his chest. She put her hand gently on his shoulder.

“You knew him, didn’t you?” she whispered.

Tears were in his eyes, but he wiped them away.

“In another life,” he managed, and it wasn’t a lie. He would never lie to Julia.

“Was he a friend?”

_ He’s gone now. There’s no point in petty regrets. You made your choice, and it is to stay here, be with her, save her. _

“Something like that.”

_ Why are you upset? _ The chalice asked him.  _ He was nobody. _

Distantly, almost as if they were someone else’s thoughts, there was a cry of protest. A scream. A fight.

Magnus ignored it.

He looked up at Julia, took her hand. Her skin was so soft.

“It’s fine, Jules,” he said, gazing into her eyes. “He wasn’t anyone important to me.”

*****

Magnus’ dreams that night were filled with abject horror. Blackness, darkness, liquid night was pouring down from the sky. A purple sky, with twin suns. People were screaming. He was running, running towards a silver ship, but it was taking off without him.

_ Save me _ he cried.  _ This plane is doomed, but I’m still alive. Save me. _

He felt the selfish thoughts, felt them in his core, and he didn’t chide himself. He had people to think about, people to protect.  _ His _ people. He couldn’t die here and now. There were people on that ship, people that mattered more than anyone else.

Everyone else didn’t matter.

He woke up with a yelp that he quickly covered up, not wanting to wake Julia. He felt...guilty. Like he had done something horrible, left someone or something behind. It was an awful twisting feeling, deep in his gut.

_ There's no reason for that.  _ It was almost as if the chalice was talking to him, directly and intimately.  _ You have what you wanted. Why worry about things beyond your kin? _

"I did something wrong, didn't I?" he hissed. He was angry.

_ Is having your life back again wrong? Is having your wife alive and well wrong? _

Magnus felt a pang in his heart, and looked over to Julia's sleeping form. Her mouth was parted slightly, her hair a mess. She was snoring, and Magnus loved her even more.

_ There's nothing to fear, nothing to regret. Your life is what you want it to be like. Don't change it. _

He felt the chalice grow hot again, even in its place across the room. He felt the guilt subside. Felt the anger and fear go away.

"You're right," he whispered, before settling back down next to Julia, and closing his eyes.

*****

As time went on, Magnus forgot about the guilt. Forgot about the negativity. He focused on making Julia feel better, enjoying her presence.

He chose a spot overlooking the peak of the town, and decided to build them a proper home, one built by their hands. They worked together tirelessly, helping each other, talking, laughing. They retreated to the tavern, sang with their friends, they continued their carpentry work. Steven always had business he offered Magnus outside of the town, but Magnus knew he would never leave it alone again.

They lived, happily, for years. It was everything he had ever wanted.

The chalice was powerful. Powerful enough to change fate, change time. Powerful enough to give Magnus his greatest wish.

It wasn't powerful enough to hold off the Hunger forever.

*****

When it came, its attack was brutal, precise, and deadly.

Magnus' memories of his alternate life had faded over the years. He barely remembered the Voidfish, but something deep within him recognized its power. As the onslaught of invisible attackers rained down mercilessly, he prayed Fisher would send his song out to the world, to help them, to save them.

And as soon as he remembered that, the memory of Fisher and the Hunger, and the century of lifetimes he had missed, he knew without a doubt that the chalice was weakening.

He found Julia in the basement of their house, the Hunger tearing apart the roof above, searching for its next victim. He heard screams, heard violence. Julia was clutching an axe, determination in her eyes, but Magnus gently lowered her weapon, shaking his head.

"Jules, we can't - "

He choked up, because this wasn't supposed to happen, he was meant to be with her forever, living in the house they built, growing  _ old _ together.

"I need to show you something."

They both knelt on the floor, and he retrieved the chalice, held it in front of her. For once it was silent.

"Jules, I - I love you so much. Years ago, Kalen, he...he killed you, Jules. He killed you and I couldn't handle it. So I made the decision to come back, fix my mistakes but - "

He was crying now. Julia had dropped her axe, staring at him.

“ - it - it didn’t  _ work _ . I had you, I had Raven’s Roost, but things kept fucking up. People kept dying, and I wasn’t there to help."

“Hey,” Julia said softly, putting a hand to his cheek. “It’s okay.”

Magnus shook his head.

“Julia...it’s not. I did this. All of this is my fault. I ignored it, I was so  _ goddamn selfish _ , and I can’t - ”

Julia was hugging him, and he wept into her shoulder. She felt him try and take the chalice from his hands. A bitter, angry,  _ spiteful _ part of him refused to relinquish it, snatched it back.

“Jules,  _ please _ ,” he begged her. “If I go back, fix this - I’ll lose you. I’ll lose you forever.”

He couldn't stand the thought. Couldn't see her broken body again. He held the cup tightly in his hands.

Julia pressed her forehead against his.

“Magnus, what did you want?”

He couldn’t stop crying.

“You. Nothing but you, nobody mattered but  _ you _ .”

He could feel her smile.

“And you got me. We lived for years, Magnus. We had  _ such _ a good life.”

She moved back so he could see her face. It was as beautiful as ever, despite the destruction raging in his ears from outside.

“But other people need you now, Maggie. You need to be there for him. You need to stop this.”

She squeezed his hands. He never wanted to let her go.

The chalice rested on the ground between them. He felt it weakly grow warm.

“Let me go, Magnus."

Everything seemed to be fading.

“No! No, Jules, I can’t, I  _ can’t _ .”

She smiled, despite everything.

"You  _ can. _ " Her voice was so warm. So full of life. He couldn't take that away. He couldn't - 

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, hummed quietly. It was a song they sang on warm nights, by a fire, when they were safe, when they were happy.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Maggie."

He trusted her. He always trusted her.

"I love you, Magnus."

Magnus looked at her. He memorized her face, as if he hadn't done it before, as if he hadn't stared at her for hours, taking her in. But this time was different. He wanted to remember her  _ now _ , when she was giving him her blessing, when she was at peace.

"I love you too, Jules."

Everything went white.

*****

There was a hot sun beating down on him from above, filtering through a hole in the top of the shaft. June was on her knees, and the cup was at his feet.

He picked it up. It was cold.

He blinked, and thought of her. He was scared of what he'd find. But instead of dark memories of fire and ash and bodies, he instead remembered their honeymoon. Their house. The years they had spent together.

June got to her feet and smiled up at him.

"My treat," she said with a smile.

Magnus choked back tears.

"Thank you," he whispered. June nodded.

Taako broke the moment by waving a hand in front of Magnus' face.

"Hello? You look like you've seen a ghost, kemosabe, what's up?"

Magnus laughed.

"I guess I kinda did."

Taako made a small  _ hm _ before walking over to the open shaft.

"Well don't get too nostalgic, cuz I'm pretty sure we still have to save this yucky worm or whatever."

Magnus shook himself out of his reverie, tucking the memories away for later.

"I call front car!" he called, as he rushed over to the minecart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this chapter was hard to write. i cried a couple times just writing the words. it was so difficult for me to take someone as Lawful Good as Magnus and warp him into something else. but i think i did him justice. at least i hope i did.


	4. Epilogue

The world hadn’t ended. They had  _ won _ .

Taako had torn himself away from Lup long enough to find himself looking out from the main platform of the Bureau of Balance headquarters only...that wasn’t what it was gonna be called anymore. Things were changing, and it was all for the better.

Everything was  _ so much better _ .

Merle and Magnus soon joined him. There would be celebrations later, reunions and rewards and parades. For now, in this one brief moment, the three of them sat together, like old times, staring up at the clear,  _ clear _ sky.

“So…” Taako began. His voice sounded hesitant, but seeing as he was the one who broke the silence, he kept going. “Did anyone else get flashes of... _ other _ memories when everything went sideways? Like, lives we lived but then...didn’t?”

Magnus bit his lip.

“Yeah…” Merle said. “It’s weird. I thought the Voidfish was supposed to - ”

“It’s the relics,” Magnus stated flatly. Taako and Merle whirled on him.

“How did you  _ know _ \- ”

“June let me keep the memories. I...”

He trailed off. Tried to keep himself from crying.

“I took the chalice. I...I went back. Saved Julia. We lived, together, for a  _ while _ . A really nice long while.”

He audibly sniffed, and wiped at his eyes.

“Things went wrong. Julia, uh...convinced me to come back.”

He looked over at the other two, who were staring at him.

"Did you guys...take the relics too?"

Taako laughed.

"Yeah, cha'boy done goofed that one up for sure!" He smiled, but it turned into a frown. He hid his eyes beneath the brim of his hat. "Yeah, I took the stupid stone. Thought I could bring Lup back."

Magnus and Merle were silent. They both understood.

Merle sucked in a breath.

"I, uh...I took the sash. Fancied myself some stupid hero. Tried to - "

His voice wavered, and both Magnus and Taako instinctively put a hand out to comfort him.

"Hey, you good, buddy?" Magnus asked.

Merle smiled and laughed.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'm a lot better now that I'm here. Now that I've got you two looking out for me."

Taako snorted.

"It better the hell be the other way around, old man. If I survived the fucking Hunger I'm sure as hell not gonna die like a loser somewhere else. Bad for my image!"

There was a moment of affection and pride amongst all three of them, before they burst out laughing. Laughing at themselves, laughing at their mistakes. Laughing because for once in their lives, things were good.

Things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, thanks for reading :) i hope you enjoyed this little dive into what could have been. i very much enjoyed exploring everyone's dark sides, but I knew there was gonna be a happy ending.


End file.
